I just realized something. I only have questions, questions and more questions. But the proportion of answers to questions is almost non-existent. Now I don’t know whether I don’t have answers because I’m slightly stupid or because there are no answers. As an experiment, I’m just going to note down all the questions that I have right now, not necessarily in a logical order because that’s not how they present themselves to me (some sort of stream of consciousness for questions). I’ll keep adding questions as and when I have them. And 3-4 months down the line I’m going to revisit this space to see if I have found any answers at all or if my answers to my questions are simply more questions.
I have tried to place all of this in some structure, but it’s not possible. I’ve tried to change paragraphs where the questions are about a whole different topic, like existentialism jumping over to food.
What am I doing? Is this the right field for me? Is it OK to be doing something you longer care about? Would I actually love anyone at all if I didn’t know the concept of love? What is communism? What’s the difference then between communism and Marxism and socialism? are people going to ask me to read pages and pages of boring literature if I ask them this? Who cares? Why am I so dull? Why haven’t I read as many books as her, her , him and her? Gawd, why didn’t I do anything significant so far when Beatles had done the most amazing work of their lives and of a generation when they were 2-3 years younger than I am right now? Is this what my life will ever be? When will I master the cold, icy, intimidating stare? Does it come with practice or do you have to be a natural? Why is that manager guy suddenly not talking as much? Did I do something wrong? How many years before I can take a looooooooooong break? Will I ever open my own bistro? What are micro expressions? WTF, why do I need data analysis? I hate data. Does everyone have too many questions or do I have some sort of anxiety disorder? Will I be promoted or will the world be just as unfair as always?
Should I write all my questions at once right now? Or should I hold on till I get some work done. What do you think I did?
What should I cook for tomorrow’s house party? Can I dip chicken drumsticks marinated in buttermilk in cornflakes and then bake? or would i have to get skinless chicken for that instead? Where can I find unsweetened chocolate? Should I have the cab drop me off at the store today or should I just do all the shopping fresh tomorrow instead? Should I buy the hand blender today or should I wait until my next salary comes in?