Thinking out loud

I am just thinking out loud and typing as I do. This means that I am not particularly censoring what I’m saying and not even checking it for political correctness. This doesn’t in anyway imply that I think/believe in women being a certain way because they are women. It’s just that over the past several months i have mainly interacted with certain kind of women who all fit in one mould: dressed in modern-chic clothes, fiercely ambitious but in a limited way (wanting to be some sort of manager in the same company), mildly coquettish, very traditional thoughts on marriage and women’s role in one, seeking approval from random men at work, pardon men the mistakes they would never pardon other women”

I’m sitting at my desk at work. There are 14 minutes to go for a weekly meeting which is generally useless. There is a group of really cheap people a couple of bays away who are cracking the saddest non-jokes ever. There’s the sound of typical girlish laughter…shrill and reasonless. Which saddens me more than anything. The laughter is a mechanical auto-response to whatever the boys in the group have to save, irrespective of how dumb it is. And this annoying, shrill laughter is the cue for these boys to act all the more dumb.

Can girls really be so dumb and lame? Don’t even get me started on boys in a peer group. Back to dumb girls…the other day I was standing at the elevator bay waiting for it to come to the 10th floor. Out of the 6 elevators, several people went and stood in front of one in particular. The obvious reason being that the light showed that it was just one floor away from my floor. A second later it was on my floor and a bimbo standing next to an average guy goes, “hehehehehehhehe , how did you know this elevator would come first?” I mean really?!? And the guy gave a classic response in a tone which categorically hints at the female gender in general being too emotional to think straight even in mundane situations like waiting for an elevator. He said, “common-sense”. And he was absolutely right. As much as I hate to think and generalise about the lameness in girls, I can’t help agreeing.

In my two years of corporate experience, I really have come across more dumb and incredibly stupid women than men. But let me preface this adequately by saying that this wasn’t the case in academics. I came across enviably brilliant girls/ women there. But here, I have come across way too many girls who would go out of their way to please men they JUST MET, that too at work. It’s one (unreasonable) thing wanting/having no option to be servile at your home, to your husbands and relatives but the desire and willingness to do the same for some random guys at work is simply incomprehensible.

I’m very curious. Is it so ingrained in women’s brains that they are the secondary sex that they can’t help themselves from acting like one in the situations where they’d be perfectly safe even without it? Can it be that women try to subconsciously get validation from men (even men that any straight-thinking woman would discard as sexist douchebags)? I have seen women go out of their way to come across as stupid and completely lacking in sound judgment. Is the sweet, docile, naive, needs-to-be-rescued image so appealing to women even when they are independent and have no obligation whatsoever to act like they need to be taken care of and rescued. Especially, financially, these women earn more than their male counterparts. But they still don’t seem to get over the oh-so-appealing-idea of being taken care of. It’s a whole different story that if people really cared about you, they’d want you to be more independent and self-sufficient.

I can’t help thinking that apart from general douchebaggery on part of men and the moronic societal role-assignment,  it’s also this kind of ridiculous behavior that fuels the irrelevant belief in men that they are meant to take care (read: own) of women. Men, even well educated ones whose mothers and sisters are very independent women, do subscribe to this point of view btw. And they are so convinced that it’s right that they go about announcing it self-righteously in quite sensitive places like offices.

What do you think? Have you come across women who are completely different people in presence of men?

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5 comments

  1. Its like I read somewhere that men do not like women with sense of humour or eccentricities, because they spell independence. As far as you are sweet, bubbly eccentric, like say, Kareena Kapoor in all her movies- you are ok. But if you are even remotely capable looking, MOVE AWAY YOU COLD BITCH.

    Hmm.. can’t stand these women though. Laughing at lame jokes, assuming a humble body posture, ‘boys will be boys now let us go and shop’ statement. I went for a lunch the other day and same thing. The lengths to which women go to make men feel superior and cool is astounding.

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  2. Exactly!! I’m finding it increasingly difficult to have any logical conversation with girls around. I just have 3-4 friends whom I can talk normally to. I simply don’t identify with such girls.And I don’t quite identify with most guys either. I wonder sometimes if there’s something wrong with me. Actually come to think of it, it’s not really a question of identifying with girls or boys. It’s mostly people. The people I identify with are anyway a very small percent of the population. No wonder then that I have very people around I can call friends and actually talk to.

    You won’t believe this. Girls’ definition of a gentleman is still so archaic: Opens doors for you, says “after you” and pulls chairs for you. And I’m pretty sure that hardly any of these gentlemen would actually be there when you need some real help.

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    1. Right. What they call ‘patriarchal bargain’ in gender studies. Whereby women appropriate values that are actually anti-women in general, but might benefit that individual woman in particular because she is playing a desirable role in the system.

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  3. Patriarchal bargain! Hmmm…must read about that.

    Actually I’m guilty of this too. I routinely make comments like, “whose car is that in the middle of the road? I bet it’s a woman”. In my defense, 90 percent of times, it IS a woman. But I think we still need to be careful in generalising this. I myself am very very unfocused while driving. But wouldn’t jump to conclude that this is a female behavior.

    I really don’t know what stand to take. I’m not completely on either side. On one hand I cant help noticing that men and women ARE very different and make comments with that premise. But there’s a thin line perhaps between commenting just on differences and bordering on sexism which most people tend to cross unintentionally without even noticing it. The typical “end of a man’s freedom after marriage” jokes is a case in point. I mean why does EVERYONE get married then? Behavioural attributes like controlling, possessive, jealous ought to be personality-specific not gender-specific.

    To be honest, I get along a lot better with some men than most women. But then those some men belong to a very very small percent. I’m pretty sure that women I get along with also belong to the same set. So it’s more about people in general like I said, rather than gender I guess. Hard to decide really.

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