They are everywhere. You go to work, they’re there; take a stroll in the supermarket, they’re there and go to the gym and they are DEFINITELY there. This is a whole different breed of people. They walk about life with an acquired ease which seems too fake to be natural. They pretend like they’re the ones who are more serious about everything. They even seem to be more serious about your life than you could ever be. These smartasses are abundant in literature and film studies classes. I used to see them around quite a bit and hate their guts, especially because they looked like they had it all figured out.

What triggered this post is that I have been going to the gym at work routinely now. The aerobics instructor is quite good and the routines he makes you do kick your ass. They are pretty intense without a moment’s rest in between. Also, I am the only new person so it takes me longer to keep up with the routine especially since half of the time I cannot hear what he’s saying. Which means you need all the attention you can gather; and all the willpower you have just to get through that one hour. But some people just wouldn’t let that happen.

There is a girl in the class who is a classic smartass. She comes there like she has won the Olympics in the workplace aerobics category and still has to practice with us minions. She is the one who HAS to be the instructor’s pet, which she could be by default given that nobody else is interested in that post.  She adds weird jumps to every move which disturbs pretty much the entire class. She needs thrice the amount of the average space the others would need. She doesn’t exercise, she performs. She has to use weights when no one else does, she has to embark on your space even though there is plenty of space at the back. I mean if you are going to jump around so much and need the entire horizontal space of the gym, isn’t it only logical that you stand in the back-most row where you can be the only one there? Her vigor is more annoying than vigorous. I mess up steps because you never know when the mini giant might step on your toes or knock your specs off with that weird dumbbell movement.

Everybody else who takes the aerobics class is very polite. We all give each other pleasant smiles even if we don’t talk to each other or know each other’s names. But she is a different class. She has a small girl gang, by which I mean there’s another girl she hangs out who undisputedly gets the title of VSA (vice smartass). The two of them do the exact same things. You know the girls who always look a certain way and have a certain set of parameters about how you should look and carry yourself in public places.

Anyway, my point is that even if you find these people everywhere and even if they are supremely annoying, they also provide a good conversation initiation point. This does make me a classic biatch but who cares when you can take in everything you can about such people: all the peculiarities, all the weird body language and then go home and enact over a glass of wine. Makes me seem like a really sad person, but don’t discredit the relaxing power of bitching. 😀



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