Indian Weddings Decoded

I have never been a big fan of the big fat Indian wedding circus. In fact, I will go all out and say that I find it obnoxious and have very negative feelings about it. I know that it’s not right to generalize, but why wouldn’t you, when the majority of arranged marriages are nothing but a transaction. And a very unfair transaction at that: The girl’s family is expected to give money, and the girl is also expected to be the meek-mouse servant. So basically, she pays for serving. Of course, I do acknowledge that there are a few exceptions to the rule. But the keyword here is “few”.

I was extremely fortunate to not have to face any of this first hand, but it breaks my heart to see the kind of asinine masterpieces some of my friends have to sift through in the hope of finding one logical, rational human being.

Anyway, I could go on and on about this topic. But I just saw AIB’s hilarious, brilliant, and brutally honest videos that basically pull the pants down on Indian weddings. If you haven’t already watched this, do!

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7 comments

      1. Okay. so since I dissed that wedding portal, I feel compelled to also share that a dear friend who is plagued by certain issues did find a wonderful match on it. I don’t really know if there were transactions of the dowry kind in this match – they are only just engaged, but it was awesome to know that there are people like him out there who are willing to understand and be patient about something that my friend was very scared, but upfront about.

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      2. Oh nice! That’s a positive story. I’m sure there are some. Unfortunately, the number is very low. 😦

        I know a couple of girls who are very happily married and much in love with their husbands even though the marriages were arranged to begin with. Takes some luck as well. Plus your happiness depends on what you expect out of a marriage. The girls I am talking about are quite independent but also conventional in many ways. So things that strike us as odd or unfair don’t draw as much reaction from them.

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      3. Haan, ultimately it is to each their own. But, chances of being ‘happy’ and finding your match are definitely that much more if you are belong to the herd and are not a deviant in many things. My friend other than the issues she has (which to be fair could be a huge deterrent) is otherwise very traditional in the tradition of good Indian girls. A colleague once told me that it is a pity that the current generation of Indian men simply did not grow up to be enlightened as rapidly as today’s women. I so heartily agree.

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      4. That is so well put. that’s exactly what it is. My friend has met a couple of guys through a small match-making company. It’s pitiable to see that most of the men she met are simply little boys with grown up bodies. They don’t even shy away from telling their absolutely unfair and ridiculous expectations to a complete stranger woman.

        She met this one “namuna” ok. So she said that she didn’t believe in God and wasn’t religious, so is uncomfortable going to temples. He was like but you’d have to do it for my mother. So she asked very calmly how often he went to the temple. He said once or twice. Then she was like if you being your mother’s son are going only once or twice, why would I being a complete stranger go at all. And this guy knew nothing about religion or God. So he basically just went mindlessly without having any defined religious feelings himself.

        Then another sample couldn’t digest the fact that she wouldn’t wear a mangalsutra and wasn’t interested in gold.

        The third one expected her to “like” a certain kind of food. What’s wrong with the guys???? 😦

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      5. Sometimes, I feel that the entitlement that men feel in matters and their asinine articulation of their expectations and demands is a boon. You can run at the first opportunity and flee far far away. That said, nobody should have to live with someone that they are not compatible with. The sad part is that the things they like to prioritize when exploring common ground belong to the stone ages.

        Did you read about this new shaadi.com campaign?

        http://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/how-much-dowry-are-you-worth-shaadi-com-is-telling-you-762513?pfrom=home-specialevent

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